As a junior associate, you leap at any project, no matter how miserable you know it’s going to be. (Cough, doc review, cough)

The Defense Attorney’s job, as told in three panels

You’d be shocked how quickly rubble smolders.

Some people take much longer to have realizations than others.

In real life, you’d never ask your supervisor this kind of question…
…because you’d just end up being assigned to write a memo on the pros and cons of each plan.

I’m just glad I got a lot of time with my family when I was younger.

Like hoping for equity Partnership in a two-tiered system…

Don’t bother asking.
The requirements for the assignment will end up changing 156 times anyway. You will be informed of none of those changes. You will, however, be expected to incorporate them into the final project.

Having self-initiated plans for each day is important.

Our first reviews are coming up.
I anticipate them going something like this:

Witty observations in the world of Billable Hours

In real life, they’re shopping for your replacement, not a card.

Office Rule: The person you least feel like seeing will stop in at the least convenient moment and ask for a ludicrous “favor” in the most annoying possible way.

One of the most fun times is hearing the creative and elaborate reasons for why billable rates may increase, but salaries will not.

Never hesitate to ask for advice.
A good blinding never hurt anyone.

You hand in your pride on Day One. But you get a neat badge with your photo on it in exchange.

The divide between the Computer Generation and the Paper Generation makes for some interesting situations. If “interesting” meant “frustrating.”

Golfing is an important skill for attorneys. Sigh.

Of course, for working lots and lots and lots of hours, there is always the incentive of the mysteriously-determined BONUS at year’s end.

Finding new ways to describe your work for the sake of billable hours is always a hoot.

I might try this.

SERIOUSLY.

Office Rule: If they didn’t understand it the first 50 times you explained it, the 51st time won’t help. But they will keep asking you. And they will inform your supervisor it was their know-how all along. Which is why the cruelty is acceptable.

Lawyers rely on caffeine. No surprise.

I live my life by this theory. There are some days when I sound like a damn sheep.

You know who you are. Or you should, for the love of pete.

No matter how perfect the final product, you will be told to edit it no fewer than 37 times. No explanations will be given. It’s best to whistle and dance… and drink heavily.

Arrogance cancels Guilt. You learn that in orientation. Then you tattoo it onto your forearm for easy reference.

Eventually, the associates just learn to wear helmets. Sure, we look like Joon from Benny and Joon in the ping-pong paddle traffic-directing scene, but the assignments hurt less.
Vaseline helps too.

Why did awkward silences get such a bad rap, anyway?

The reason we put up with it: