Here’s a great inanimate object struggle (yes, I lost):
Get ready to heat up some soup on your stovetop. Place the soup on the front right burner. On the back right burner, place a pizza stone.
Next, rather than turning on the burner over which your soup is positioned, be a total flake and turn on the burner upon which the empty pizza stone is sitting.
Wait about five minutes.
You should hear a sound that roughly approximates someone shooting your stove. That would be your pizza stone splitting into three pieces.
Run to the stove, stand baffled for about 22 seconds until you realize your flaky error, then very quickly turn off the back burner and turn on the front burner instead.
Remove broken pizza stone from stove, and thank lucky stars that nothing more serious happened. Ponder whether warm split pea soup was really worth this hassle. Doubt seriously that you’re as smart as your academics would lead one to believe.
Kids, don’t try this at home.
Labels: all about me, anecdotes and opinions, humor
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I’m Marissa, can-do-ologist, perpetual Curious George, and daily adventurer. 
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