Mother’s Day: a photo tribute to my Mums

One of the things Mums has taught me throughout life is the importance of personal presentation. For instance, one should always look stylish when heading out on the town, as Mums and my uncle Lamont are preparing to do in the 1975 photo below. (The shirt he’s wearing, and the dress she’s wearing are, by the way, Mums’ handiwork.)

People often tell me that I look and sound just like my Mums. I say, “Thanks,” because I think that’s a pretty big compliment. Here’s Mums’ senior photo from high school, circa 1976-1977.
In a world where divorce and separation are commonplace, I’ve been fortunate enough to have parents who defy all the odds, having been not just high school sweethearts… but junior high sweethearts! They met when they were in the 8th grade. They married right out of high school, in 1977.

My Mums looks so, so young in her wedding photos! When I was the age she was at her wedding, I was having a hard enough time committing to a hair style, let alone a life partner.
One of my favorite adorable photos of my Mums and her main squeeze, Daddio, circa 1978.

I came along in 1979. I’m not sure Mums and Daddio quite knew what they were in for. I mean, sure I look harmless enough–and even kind of cute–as a baby…
…but as I grew up (here, in 1982) I know I was quite the handful. Mums deserves some kind of award for her patience with me. I was known to talk so constantly, so incessantly, that Mums would resort to asking me, “Don’t your ears get tired? Sometimes Mommy’s ears get tired.” That didn’t shut me up, of course, but it was a creative attempt.

Mums always wanted to be a mommy, and when I was young, our family had the means to allow her to stay home with me full-time, which was awesome (well, for me anyway… after reading the above, perhaps it wasn’t as awesome for her, haha). She always did a great job being my biggest supporter and fan, but making sure that she never stepped out of her “I’m the Mom” role either when I needed more parenting than friendship. That’s a tough balance to strike, and I think she did it really well. Especially because, to this day, she’s my best friend. Here we are as I prepare to be the flower girl in my Aunt Lisa and Uncle Glen’s 1984 wedding.

I today look so much like Mums in this 1989 photo (sans the glasses). Even back then, I think you could see a resemblance especially in the eyes, though I think overall back then I more closely resembled my Daddio’s side of the family.

As if I wasn’t handful enough, Mums and Daddio wound up with two additional kids, both of whom are smart, and total smart-asses. One thing I know for sure, and all three of us kids have learned from Mums, is that sometimes you just gotta laugh. Life will throw all kinds of curveballs at you, and sometimes, when your life feels like it’s so off-the-tracks that it can’t be fixed, and a bunch of baked beans just blew up in the microwave, you can either sob til it hurts or sit down on the kitchen floor and laugh until it hurts. I’ve had my fair share of crying on Mums’ shoulder, but I’ve also learned the value of laughter, and finding the humor in life.
(Mums with Alex and me, at about 1998.)

Mums is really my bestest, best friend. I tell her everything (which is nearly a moot point because even if I don’t tell her, she knows anyway… and I’m not kidding), and somehow even though she knows me better than anyone else in the world, she still loves me and accepts me completely. She’s always been my biggest source of support, and the person I know will never be upset with me if I need to call at some ungodly hour of the morning and vent to, or cry to, or look for advice. She’s not just my best friend; she’s my guardian angel, personal advisor, crises fixer-upper, and voice of wisdom.
(We are at my Aunt Laura’s 1999 wedding in the photo below.)

My folks are always the first to share in my excitement whenever I achieve any of my goals, no matter how small or how large the achievement might be. In the photo below, we’re celebrating my graduation from college in Bloomington, 2000.

And just because I love these photos of Mums–she looks so happy in each of them! These were taken at our celebration of my brother Chaz’s and cousin Sam’s confirmation, around 2002 or 2003, I think.

Mums and I toast to her and Daddio’s Silver Wedding Anniversary in August, 2002.

Mums and Daddio visiting me at my law school apartment in Valpo, 2003. It was during Thanksgiving-ish time of my 1L year of law school that I remember calling Mums in tears and telling her I didn’t think I could do this, I thought I made a mistake in coming to law school, and I wanted to come home and resume the life I left behind. She did what she said was one of the hardest things she’s ever done with me–she told me I couldn’t come home, that I had nothing there to go home to, as I had no job, no place to live, etc. It wasn’t at all the response I thought I’d get from her–I thought she’d say, “okay, come home.”

But it was the best response she could’ve given me. It forced me to see how much stronger I was than I was giving myself credit for. She saw that, but I didn’t. She saw in me the smarts, the fortitude, and the ability to succeed at law school, and the potential for the career of my dreams if I stuck to it. And in those hours when I was positively blind to all that, had it not been for her encouragement, patience with my fear, and her belief in me when I had none in myself, I believe I would have left school at that point. I am so thankful she told me “No” when I most needed to hear it–I’m so thankful she let me cry it out but encouraged me to keep going.

I know it wasn’t easy for her to tell me I couldn’t give up and come home–but that is one of those moments when she proved all over again her mettle as a mother. She said it hurt her like crazy to hear me so upset and to not tell me to just come home… but she did what was in my best interests. And things turned out so well. I’m so grateful for her strength!
When I came to law school, I had to leave behind my two “babies,” Ernie and Lucy (my dogs). Mums and Daddio adopted them and gave them a fabulously spoiled lifestyle in my absence. Here, Ernie receives a hug from Mums at her birthday part in 2004.

Showing her happiness and pride in her kids always comes easily for her. Here, she poses with Chaz who is on his way to be inducted into the National Honor Society, 2005.
And here she is with Daddio on their way to her office’s holiday party, 2005.

But here is how I’ll always see us… in my favoritest photo of all, little Rissa (“Beanie”) with her adoring mommy. I’m a lucky, lucky girl. And should I ever have children of my own, I can only hope that I can do as well as my own Mums has done for us. Those are big shoes to fill!
Love, admiration, and appreciation on Mothers Day and always,
With love,
“Beanie,” your little girl