Law school: 3L superlatives

It’s that time of year when one of the grand traditions of educational institutions rears its fun-loving head: The Superlatives List!

We’ve got a school list, but I’m posting my own list of 3L Superlatives, because I’m sure everyone cares deeply what I think. (Tongue so very firmly in cheek, ya’ll.) Some of these are ones that actually got used for the school’s list, and some of them are my own additions.

Here we go:

• Most likely to become a Supreme Court justice: Jeromy Cannon
• Most likely to have the largest billboard in the county: Lauren Schafer
• Most likely to help acquit clearly-guilty celebrity: Nathan Winger
• Most likely to become a Professional Student: Chris Mitchell
• Most likely to never actually practice law: Christian Miller [because I've heard he actually doesn't want to become a lawyer, not because I doubt his ability to do so]
• Most likely to be disbarred over something (s)he is really proud of [and I mean this in a positive way, like I could see this person taking a stand and refusing to back down from what she believes in even if it means disbarrment]: Desiree DeSalle
• Best dressed male: Nick Gonzales & Tyler Starkey
  
• Best dressed female: Anne Eisele & Courtney Cooper
  
• Most Gentlemanly: Tim Emerick
• Most Ladylike: Katie Peterson
• Most likely to work at the White House: Josh Brown
• Least likely to ever have an ethics violation: Mike Ruff
• Most likely to get a perfect score on the bar exam: Steve Hulst
• Most likely to create his/her own line of study guides & flashcards: Me!
• Best questions/answers in class throughout law school–male: Kevin Warren
• Best questions/answers in class throughout law school–female: Jen Campbell
• Most likely to argue before the Supreme Court before the age of 35: Josh Brown
• Most likely to be the next John Grisham: Hal Price
• Class Clown/Best sense of humor–male: Tim Norris
• Class Clown/Best sense of humor–female: Mahrya Fulfer
• Most likely to bill 72 hours in one single day [out-of-this-world work ethic]: Sarah Kuhny
• Most likely to become a firm’s youngest-ever Managing Partner: Chad Miller
• Most likely to trade in his/her J.D. for a career in Hollywood: Marshall McConkie
• Most likely to trade in his/her J.D. for a career on Broadway: Mahrya Fulfer
• Prettiest (female): Kelly Borchers or Lia Gucciardi
• Most handsome (male): Nathan Winger, of course
• Cutest couple: Anne Eisele & Nick Gonzales
• Most likely to invent a new Federal Rule of Civil Procedure: Me, darn it!
• Most likely to become a prolific writer of scholarly articles: Anna Shumaker
• Most likely to appear on a reality television show: Matt Weil
• Could be Jeopardy’s next Ken Jennings: Jeromy Cannon
• Most likely to represent the underdogs–and win: Leticia Perez
• Person you’d most like to have on your side of the courtroom: I’d like to have the Team Of Jere(o)mys: Jeremy Butler, Jeromy Cannon, and Jeremy Watson (seriously, having had class with the T.O.J., I would feel wholly confident that they’d kick ass, constantly)
• Person you’d least like to face as your opposing counsel: Jeromy Cannon
• If I were President, I’d appoint _________ as my Chief of Staff: Can I appoint the Team of Jere(o)mys (the T.O.J.)? Wait, of course I can–I’m President. Okay, they’d be my Joint Chiefs of Staff.
• Most likely to represent Hollywood celebrities: Steve Starks
• Most likely to represent the top athletes or sports teams: Paradi Javandel
• Most likely to be a highly successful politician: Jon Rogers
• Most likely to become a CEO: Bryan Caskey or Dave Page
• Most likely to be the next Donald Trump: Jeremy Watson
• If I could select someone to take over the job of Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, I would select _________________: Jeromy Cannon
• Most likely to have absolutely nothing to disclose to the bar examiners (cleanest record): Mike Ruff & Katie Peterson
  
• Most charming (male): Tim Emerick
• Most charming (female): Anne Eisele
• Most questions asked (or answered) in class throughout law school (male): Art Johnson
• Most questions asked (or answered) in class throughout law school (female): Erin Gallagly
• When ___________ speaks in class, I stop what I’m doing and I listen closely (name a student): Anne Eisele, Tim Emerick, and the T.O.J.
• I would never, ever dare to use Instant Messages in ________________’s class (name a prof): Rosalie Levinson
• Most likely to date/marry a celebrity: Katie Lockamy
• If I could take classes from only one professor, I’d take classes from _____________ (name a prof): Laura Dooley!
• Best group-project group member: Jeromy Cannon
• Most likely to always have the Bluebook/ALWD close at hand: Anna Shumaker
• Most likely to be a law school professor (male): Andrew Smith
• Most likely to be a law school professor (female): Cortney Schaffer
• If I got stuck on a really tough legal issue at work, I’d call _________________ for help (name a student): Jeromy Cannon
• Most reliable gossip (not most prolific gossip, but the most reliable): Shelly Steiner!
• Most likely to go deep undercover with the FBI or CIA and never be heard from again: Ted Fetters
• Most likely to be the next Martha Stewart: Katie Peterson
• Funniest/best sense of humor professor (male): Mark Adams
• Funniest/best sense of humor professor (female): JoEllen Lind
• Best dressed professor (male): Al Morrisson
• Best dressed professor (female): Laura Dooley
• Best public speaker (student – male): Kevin Warren
• Best public speaker (student – female): Anne Eisele or Jen Campbell
• Best professor, overall (male): Mark Adams
• Best professor, overall (female): Laura Dooley, Rosalie Levinson, JoEllen Lind (was there any question who I’d put there?)
• Most likely to become Dean of a law school (student): Cortney Schaffer
• Most likely to be so successful that (s)he will be able to retire VERY early: Steve Hulst
• Friendliest/most personable (male): Steve Starks
• Friendliest/most personable (female): Kelly Borchers or Mahrya Fulfer
• If the exam rules were changed for all classes, and I could bring in just one other student to help me on all of my exams, I’d bring _________________ (name a student): Steve Hulst
• Most likely to appear on the cover of Time magazine: Jeremy Butler or Mandy Shell
• Most likely to accrue the highest number of pro bono hours in a year: Mike Ruff
• Most likely to accrue the highest number of billable hours in a year: Jeromy Cannon
• Most likely to be called “a rainmaker”: Steve Hulst
• If I was wrongly accused in a criminal matter, my first phone call would be to ____________ (name a student) to defend me: Nathan Winger or Leticia Perez
• If I was being sued by the nation’s top law firm, my first phone call would be to ___________ (name a student) to represent me: The T.O.J.!
• Most efficient study habits (i.e., I never saw this person studying or stressing, but (s)he always did really well in class): Steve Hulst
• Most likely to have a plaque in the library to memorialize the place where (s)he essentially lived for three years: Josh Brown
• Least likely to be spotted in the school library: Um, Me? I never go there. Ever.
• Most Likely to be a judge on a televised court show: Kristin Nesbitt