Home Is Where the Heart Is

If that saying is true, that home is where the heart is, then I’m back in Valpo, but definitely two hours and twenty minutes from home.

I came back today, after visiting my grandfather and seeing that he was doing well, getting good reports from the doctors, and progressing according to schedule. He even got to move out of the cardiac ICU this evening, and into a room with a phone, as we found out when he phoned Mums (who then, of course, phoned me to let me know).

So, all is going well, things are returning to as-close-to-normal-as-possible, and I know that there’s nothing back home that I need to be doing at this point, but I really want to be there. Each time I go there, it’s harder to come back to Valpo.

Part of it is that while I know Grandpa is doing well, things still aren’t “back to normal” and I want to be at home helping out… or being there just in case I can help out.

Part of it is that for reasons that aren’t necessary to explore on the internet, I am happy and comfortable and content there in a way that I’m not here.

Part of it is that while I know this is a great academic semester to lay back and enjoy the student life, I feel very ready to be able to move on from this chapter of my life and begin the next.

I always felt like I understood that famous (or infamous?) scene from the movie Jerry Maguire, where Jerry comes in and gives the famous (infamous?) speech that prompts his wife to say “You had me at hello.” But for me, the idea of “You complete me” wasn’t relative to a significant other… it was about my family.

That’s how I feel when I’m at home. Some people leave the nest and realize that their freedom takes them far from home. For me, I left the nest, and realized that with all the freedom, and every opportunity under the sun open for my taking, I wanted to return home. That’s where I felt complete. I needed to leave for a while to see that, but I did.

My family always said they didn’t want us kids staying near home without first going out and living for a few years on our own somewhere else. They wanted us to choose to stay there, not “get stuck” there.

But that’s where “the heart is” for me. My family is my home, and when things are normal and fine, I very much miss them. When things are even a little bit “not normal” or anything is wrong, I really hate not being able to be there.

I miss Mums and Daddio and Grandma and Grandpa so badly right now; seriously, I have the worst bout of homesickness that I’ve had since the first time my parents dropped me off at college.

“There’s no place like home… there’s no place like home… there’s no place like home…” Darn it, where are my sparkly red slippers? I’m never going to make this work while wearing Uggs…

Labels: all about me

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