Back To It

It’s the Monday-after-Break, always a tough morning, and made doubly so by the fact that it is cold, dreary, and rainy outside. I woke up to my alarm this morning–there’s something I did not miss this past week! Not waking up to an alarm is actually one of my favorite things. I just love the feeling of sort of slowly waking up and stretching out and leisurely getting out of bed. It’s something I’ll treasure while I’m a student on breaks, and look forward to again in… well, retirement.

Anyway, I’m back at school. And apathetic. I don’t feel particuarly grumpy about it or anything, I really just feel kind of empty toward the whole finals and studying rigamarole. I feel like I’ve been there, I’ve done that, I’m tired of the one-shot-determines-it-all testing gig and all the stress and cramming that comes along with it. It’s tiring, it’s artificial, it’s pointless, and during 3L year, it’s entirely frivolous. If you’ve made it this far, you can graduate. If you were going to leave, you probably would’ve done so by now.

It is with full knowledge that this is the mindset of a five-year-old, but what it comes down to? I’ll sum it up: “I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna do it!” Odd how that never worked. Not even when I was five.

I am off to go meet Mike to work on our final project for one of our classes. And I’d like to say I’m brimming with ideas and enthusiasm for the project, but really, I just need some Starbucks coffee because I’m so tired. I didn’t sleep well last night. And I just don’t care about the project, or school, or finals. It’s a big package of blah tied up with a pretty ribbon of blar and a full bow of couldn’t give a tiny rat’s ass.

Sidenote: Yes, I know how wonderful parts of my student life are. I do love the fact that there are weekdays when I don’t have to set an alarm, and that I get long holiday breaks to spend with my family, and that I can nap in the afternoon if I want to, and I don’t have billable hour minimums to worry about, and the only “client” I’m really working for is myself… I’m not taking those for granted, I swear. I treasure all that on a daily basis. The fact that I have a tremendous amount of apathy and “I don’t wanna-ness” toward finals shouldn’t take away from that. It’s just an explanation as to why I believe the next couple weeks may involve a lot of court television shows, cheesy movies on DVD and Su Do Ku puzzles, rather than a lot of outlining.

I had such a great Thanksgiving break with my family. It sucks that it’s over already! Only a few weeks til Christmas break, though (yay!).

–M

Labels: all about me, law school